Marriage and wedding
Feelings about being or getting married; uniting two different aspects of yourself such as intellect and feelings, practical and intuitive self; the ‘marriage’ between conscious and unconscious self – any children of the marriage would be flowering of new abilities or qualities. But children of married partners can often indicate the state of the marriage, its problems of wonders.
Sometimes it refers to what our energy or drive is uniting us with – such as a new business venture or creative scheme – any children of this type of marriage suggest our intuitive assessment of the likely outcome.
There are many urges in a woman or man other than getting a good partner. There is also the urge to find recognition in society, to move toward independence, to find a comfortable place in life – probably alone, to achieve financial independence, or to have children.
In some cultures dreaming of a wedding signifies a death in the family.
But from the viewpoint of the unconscious marriage is not about a church or civil ceremony. As the most orthodox church Catholicism states, you are not married unless you have had penetrative sexual intercourse. If that has not happened there is no need for divorce because marriage never took place.
The unconscious sees it similarly. As soon as you have penetrative sex with anybody you have formed links that are not physically visible but make a form of marriage. But it has to be between a woman and a man, for marriage is a holy rite leading to the wonder of procreation, the giving of life, which is what we are all about being life forms; which is holy, not because the church says so, but because Life itself is a holy mystery. So a man can never be married in the true sense to another man, or a woman to a woman. They can have a civil ceremony but not a real marriage.
But although the point of marriage is procreation, in dreams the creation of a child still takes place as many woman and men have dream children – which is the birth of a new part of oneself. It is a bringing to consciousness a new part of you that has been developing but remained previously unexpressed. Such births need to be honoured even though there is no physical sign of a child. So the new dreamt baby is a vulnerable part of you that needs care to grow and become a real part of your waking life.
But from this viewpoint there are two types of marriage, the first is through sexual intercourse between a woman and man. The second is through a complete union of the whole couple. Some believe that the spiritual marriage comes through the agreement to abstain from sex which should be a free mutual decision, rather than resulting from impotence or the views of one party. But experience shows another view which arises as one is able to open one’s life to the divine within you. This leads to the full marriage which includes the body, the personality and the divine impulse.
Example: I was led into the experience of my merging with Divine Love in marriage – when I married P. Gradually I was led to realise that it wasn’t me and P. that were married, the marriage was between the duality if Life meeting itself in wonder and love. This went on to a visionary experience of knowing the birth of each of us was the birth of wonder, of light and transcendence. I realised that we are all then ‘put down’ by those who raise us, and so the light we are is dimmed to an extraordinary degree. And I carried this light to my own spiritual self and all the women and men – including my children – who I loved. This felt incredibly real as if they would realise for themselves that they are married to the Highest. Example: I wanted them in some way to share what I had experienced – that the most high had incarnated into us. God was not outside of us. We are it, living this strange, often difficult, but wonderful life. To have experienced that divine union in myself in the images of the divine female and the divine male as we join in a wondrous union, still moves me deeply as I write this. To be shown once more that I am, as we all are, an incarnation of that very mystery of life, is a very great gift.
Dreaming of wedding if single: As in the example below, Mary could equally as well have dreamt she was the bride, but being in her thirties and unmarried it is easier for her to consider or experiment with the idea of marriage using the image of her friend. Should she marry whoever offers? When single one often dreams of marriage as a way of clarifying – what it would be like; could one succeed in it; is the present partner okay; how shall one achieve it? Man dreaming of marriage: For a man marriage faces him with something quite different to a woman dreaming of marriage. It is a woman’s initiation, and a man may feel as if he has to give up his manhood. So he may be facing such fears in his dreams – although marriage is a meeting and often a merging with his feminine self. For a man it can also be intimating the uniting of his female characteristics. See hermaphrodite; archetype of the anima Marriage: When a woman and man marry, something that often happens is that the woman interiorises the man and feels she is now complete. She has her man in her life and in her. The man can do the same thing. That is fine when it works by them staying together faithfully. But if the man leaves the woman, or the woman leaves the man, because they had taken their partner into them to become whole, the leaving feels like something has been ripped out of them. It is a terrible shock. See Archetype of the Animus Wedding dress: Feelings and hopes about relationship and wedding; in a negative dream it represents anxieties about ones relationship or the future. Wedding dress given by mother: Qualities and strengths or problems absorbed from mother about relationship; letting go of external mother by expressing her qualities in the present.
Example: I am at the wedding of my best friend. The groom doesn’t turn up and she decides to marry the first person who comes along. I wonder whether this is a good thing to do.’ Mary T. Example: When I was engaged to my present husband I dreamt we were married and I looked down at my wedding ring. It was twisted and bent. In fact I now see it as a warning because we have not made a good marriage.’ S.W. Example: I am a gay 20 year old woman. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about four months now. Previously, she had been my best friend for six years. Last night, I dreamt that we were married. I didn’t dream of a honeymoon, or announcing our marriage, or even proposing or anything of that nature. In the dream, I just…knew that we were married. My girlfriend’s hair was significantly longer than it normally is, if that means anything. In the dream, she insisted that she wanted to have a baby, and she wanted to do it by becoming pregnant through a sperm donor. It was a little strange, because neither of us are really keen on the idea of having kids at all, much less actually becoming pregnant. We were both excited about it in the dream though. Example: It was the realisation that in the little community I live in I am the only single male. I am feeling, or guessing, that the other males here are curious about that. This led me onto spontaneous speculations about what this meant in my life and whether it was a problem I was not looking at. I saw that some of the women in my life have wanted me to be more fully involved as their partner. I sometimes puzzle why I don’t have the same need, or I don’t feel the same need in reverse. As I explored this it felt as if I didn’t want to be contained within a woman’s needs. It reminds me of the proprietorial aspect of male female relationships.
See: Integrating the female in the male; Integrating the male in the female; bride; bridegroom.
Comments
I am in love with a guy from a different religion. Well we both love each other but his family are totally against the idea of us getting married. Yesterday i dreamt that it was my engagement day and i’m busy with the arrangements and I daw myself and my lover that we are trying to convince his parents to accept. I saw his father trying to be easy but his mom was totally refusing amd in reality both his parents are against. I woke up without knowing if we got engaged or no. I am asking the Lord to give me a sign. Hope someone can help me.
Souad Jallad – I feel the dream is merely showing how you are rather forceful using “convincing” as a way. I also feel it is more kind to give his parents time to “grow into the idea” of their son marrying a woman from a different religion.
I do not know how long you have been in an intimate relationship with each other and/or if getting married is important to you in this NOW.
Often we tend to run ahead in such a process because we want to be certain that we “can have what we want”.
See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/ages-of-love-2/
I merely feel that if you continue to enjoy your relationship together in this moment, without being too busy with planning the future – we call that “Let go and Let God” – that things will fall naturally into place.
Anna 🙂
I dreamt I was getting married to my current husband of 14 years. I was short on time and had a lot left to do. My family, classmates and some friends were there. In the dream I didn’t get the chance to do my hair, but as I was putting on my vail, my hair was curled. I was placing film in my film camera getting ready to walk down the aisle. Strangest thing about my wedding was it was a double wedding….a classmate of a different race was also sharing the same date and time. She was getting married first and I was next.
I have been having this dream lately that I’m getting married to my husband.
I’m already married and in the dream I don’t know that I’m married already and I’m just preparing for the wedding.
Does this mean anything?
Pls help.
Thanks!
Priyanka – you have confused your dream life with your waking life. There is no need to remember in your dream life that you are married already in your waking life, for in this inner world Life expresses itself in a totally different way.
As you have probably a marriage in a dream can reflect uniting two different aspects of yourself such as intellect and feelings, practical and intuitive self; the ‘marriage’ between conscious and unconscious self.
Obviously there are so many aspects to unit in our inner life, that it is not uncommon to have recurring dreams about marriage, for it is a process.
Another reason for a recurring dream is that you are not aware enough (yet) that a more “joined approach” will be more helpful in your (inner) life.
See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/recurring-dreams/
Since awareness is the key, maybe you can practice self-observation, for it is a helpful tool.
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/self-observation/
Good Luck!
Anna 🙂
I have dream last night that i m crying soo loudly bcz i love someone in real life and she got marride bt she did’t responce me may be she is not incondktion of giving rply of my crying. I saw her as a bride bt not her face. In the end she sit behind me bt not talk to me and i still crying. Pls rply me
Mohit – The dream shows that “your bride” is part of your inner world, for she is the inner female which will always be a part of you.
Clearly she is patient, your inner woman, for she quietly waits till you will stop crying.
So wait and see what else she has to offer you.
See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-anima-jungs-view-of-the-female-in-the-male/
Anna 🙂
i dreamt as my bf n his family cane at my place wd marriage proposal. and i was in d othr room. n news came that my father n family accepted the proposal.
next part of dream was that my bfs mother,sister , he himself and some few more came to see me. gave me gifts
my mother in law hugged me
so did i
n hugg was soo pure
i felt to stay tat way for long n we did.
then we got busy to give gifts to them as well
its a kind of ceremony thing to fix marriage between two ppl.
in reality ,real life, bf n i r struggling to stay in a relationship n get married
please tell what is d meaning
Chaa – Your IP address shows that you live in India and so I reckon this dream reflects your feelings about your arranged marriage in your outer life. ( I hope I understood that right from this part of your comment: “it’s a kind of ceremony thing to fix marriage between two ppl. in reality ,real life”)
I feel the dream reflects that you are closer and more able to open up towards the love you receive from your future mother-in-law.
So perhaps it will be helpful to ask yourself what it is you are looking for in a future husband.
Another question could be if you are at this stage of your life merely looking for a mother, who can give you what you were not able to receive from your own mother.
It is clear from your dream that his family has enriched your life in wonderful ways – all the gifts you have received from them – and I wonder if you have ever felt that way about your partner too.
Please read this article as well Chaa, for it will help you to explore what your needs are at this stage of your life:
http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/growing-up-to-love/
Anna 🙂
I really like my friend and I’ve fallen for her but she’s engaged and she is due to get married. The other night I had dream in this dream we were hanging out and as we said our goodbyes i followed her and told her how I felt and she ended up kissing me. Is my mind just telling me what I want to believe or is there a reason to my dream ?
Ray – There is a reason to every dream 🙂
I feel the dream is an expression of your really liking your friend, so you can let go of her in your outer life – you said your goodbyes – and you can unite with what she represents in your inner life.
See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/ages-of-love-2/
and http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/kiss/
and
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-anima-jungs-view-of-the-female-in-the-male/
Anna 🙂
Had another dream of her this time I was in an airport looking for her. I really wanna tell her how I feel. I dont know if my dreams are giving me the answers I need. Are dreams a way of figuring somethings out
Ray – A dream, even a simple one, is a thing of wonder. The images in it are simply covers of massive books of information – or like a photograph of a living person. In other words the dream does not become alive until you yourself enter it.
Please also read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dreams-are-more-than-dreams-2/
By all means tell her how you feel dear Ray, for I feel too that that will be more helpful than trying to figure “things” out on your own.
Anna 🙂
I had a dream the other night that I was preparing for my wedding Day. I couldnt find my dress, Ibhad no clue who I was marrying, and I felt pressured to Get ready quickly. When I found a dress to wear I was crying in my dream and felt that I was being forced to get married. I woke up short after that in a cold sweat.
Dear Lu – You do not share if you are about to get married in your waking life.
In a more general sense it does not really matter, for either way, the dream shows that you feel like a victim of your own decision maker.
See http://dreamhawk.com/news/avoiding-being-my-own-victim/
If this dream is about the marriage with your inner male, then please slow down and enjoy the path of getting to know “each other” (= this part of yourself), for it takes many dreams – and so linear time – to prepare for the marriage.
See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/
Anna 🙂
I had a dream that I was at a wedding. And the girl that was in my dream getting married is divorced. The wedding was happening very close to my house. And the girl was sitting very close to my house. I am engaged at the moment but the guy doesn’t live in the same country yet. Does anyone know what this dream could mean?
I had a dream that i married my friend who is a girl and the wedding went fine but it skipped over the actual ceremony and i couldn’t remember saying my vows or anything i was then saying goodbye to my family who came and my uncle was there and i’ve heard that a dream about a wedding could mean death and im worried that it could mean that my uncle is going to die because he has a great deal of medical problems
Hi my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years and have a child together. I have had two dreams on separate occasions where Im about to marry him and I just can’t go on with it and right before the ceremony I decide I just cannot get married. I know people in my family always asking me when we are gonna get married.
Hello,
My husband woke me up 3:30am to tell me he dreamt of marrying another woman. He said he can see the face but not somebody he knew. Then the next scenario is that family relatives of the bride are chasing him with a big bolo because he married their relative when he is still married. Atleast, in his dream he still acknowledges being married to me huh? Lol… Any idea what could this mean 😉 This is the first time he remembered and shared a dream. Thank you! 🙂
Anne – Well he has himself in a real mix up. It will help if he reads http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions-2/#Summing
You see, you and your husband are mixing up the values you have in waking life with the way dreams work and present information. So the woman he dreams of is obviously not an outer woman but is probably his inner female built from all his encounters with women – see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/
The problem he then faces is his own interior morals about bigamy. Dreams have a very different view of such things and perhaps he needs to use http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/
to get him out of his problem.
Tony
Before my dream my boyfriend and I got Into a fight. we’ve been quite distant lately and been arguing which seems to be a lot more than usual. I took a nap and dreamt of our wedding. The only thing that stood out to me was we basically left the party to be away from everyone and just hung out with eachother. I woke up feeling really confused and conflicted with what the dream was trying to tell me.
please help
Mariah – The idea of getting married is something that girls and women dream about, but marriage can be the source of a lot of stress. Your dream seems to say to me that it would be easier for you both to ‘hang out with each other’.
Tony
Hello,
My husband woke me up 3:30am to tell me he dreamt of marrying another woman. He said he can see the face but not somebody he knew. Then the next scenario is that family relatives of the bride are chasing him with a big bolo because he married their relative when he is still married. Atleast, in his dream he still acknowledges being married to me huh? Lol… Any idea what could this mean 😉 This is the first time he remembered and shared a dream. Thank you! 🙂
I had a weird dream that my aunt who is very religious in real life is marrying my 1st boy friend who is young enough to be her son. Actually it was my boyfriend who insisted on the marriage despite the age gap saying he really loved her and want her to be a part of his life at any cost.
The wedding ceremony again is very weird. His mother and sister who are very well off brought their gold ornaments for me to keep for them. But i refused saying that I’m already keeping my mothers ornaments safe for her.
My aunt announces that she is not interested in sleeping with the guy she only married because he insisted. I remember my uncle in real life.
My exboy friend stops me in a hidden room and was telling me about my aunt when she sneaks up on us and says her not sleeping with him does not mean that he isn’t her husband
And i woke up at this turn,
PlZ tell me what it could mean
I had a dream I was getting ready to marry my husband but my Vail wasn’t staying on my head. Can u please tell me why I wild dream this when we are already married and have been for 17years. And what does it mean
I got married just got married a few months ago, I had a dream that my husband had kids with another women, there was 5 kids and the age they had meant he had cheated on me . The women had left the kids and my husband had to take them in. I was very angry because he said he didn’t want to have kids with me, because he already had his kids. I asked for a divorce, I was so hurt. I am terrified of spiders and in this same dream we went into a room full of black spiders. Any help? I feel like my relationship is in trouble. My husband and I have been really distant and to the point where we don’t sleep together. Please help
Jessica – The end of the dream seems to say what your dream is about – unconscious fear. Many women have dreams of their husband being unfaithful, although there is no evidence that they have.
But the awful truth is that the feelings are about your own fear of being deserted – probably childhood feelings. Unfortunately such feeling can cause you to no longer extend love to you man, and that can actually produce the thing you are scared of – him deserting you.
Tony