Dreams about Dead People
Click below on the links to find what you are seeking
Dreams about People We Know who have Died
Dreams about a Dead Person
How can We Talk to the Dead and They can Talk With Us?
Dreams about a Dead Husband or Wife
Dreams about a Dead Mother
Dreams about a Dead Child
Summary of after death experience
What Happens When Our Body Dies?
Coming back to earth
The Journey Through Death and Back
Journeying Beyond Dreams and Death
Dreams about People We Know who have Died
Dreams in which dead people appear are sometimes expressive of our attempts to deal with our feelings, guilt or anger in connection with the person who died; or our own feelings about death. When someone close to us dies we go through a period of change from relating to them as an external reality, to meeting and accepting them as alive in our memories and inner life.
It is wise to understand something before you read what else has been said. For instance, a single cell, which is a seed from which all life forms evolved from, doesn’t become old or die because it is immortal, for it keeps dividing and doesn’t die. In dividing it constantly creates copies of itself, but as it does so it gathers new experience, it changes what is copied, so becomes the ‘seed’ for multi-cellular organism. We all started from the original one cell, and we, you and I, are the result of gathered experience.
As adults we believe we are complete and whole. A seed is a return to the source of life and it/our beginnings under the sun. Consciousness on our planet started in the slime of creation, the slime we return to, to procreate. And from that slime which is a vehicle for our seed to exist in, our awareness goes through the whole process of evolution as we develop in mother’s womb, the dividing of cells, the forming of structure and organs, the creation of a creature with gills, and on to a human type form ready to breathe air, carrying your seed onwards.
As one textbook states, “A human is not constructed like a modern office building, as cheaply and efficiently as possible. . . but rather like an ancient historic edifice to which wings and sections were added at different times and which was not modernised until it was almost completed.” See Levels of the Brain
In doing so it uses many of the things that Life or Nature learnt from past life-forms that it uses in dealing with human life. As an example plants use very clever system with bulbs and other root systems. A bulb can grow a new flower each year and each flower is a totally new and unique thing. The the flower dies and its essense or experience is drawn back into the bulb, and next season another unique flower emerges. This hold true for humans too.
Our present personality has never existed before. It lives with a new brain that doesn’t carry old memories. Searching within its own experience and memories it could never find memory of any past lives because our present brain has no connection with the past seeds, yet our seed is the collection of man, many lives lived. Tendencies, unaccountable fears or talents, give the clue to these past selves. See Mushrooms
These past lives are not remembered easily because the new soul that developed in the new body had no past connections because it has a new brain. The soul or personality is built from the local memories stored in the new brain. So, memories of the past can only be attained by a deep awareness of our core awareness.
So, dead people can simply be people from our past. Considering that the major part of our learning and experience occur in relationship to other people, such learning and experience can be represented by characters from the past. For instance a first boyfriend in a dream would depict all the emotions and struggles we met in that relationship, and what we learned from it or took away from it that still influences present relationships. Therefore dreaming often of people we knew in the past would suggest that past experiences or lessons are very active at the moment, or we are reviewing those areas of our life. A woman who had emigrated to Britain from a very different cultural background frequently dreamt, even twenty years afterwards, of people she knew in her native country. This shows her still very much in contact with her own cultural values and experiences.
Example: ‘My husband’s mother, no longer alive, came and slid her arms carefully under me and lifted me up. I shouted ‘Put me down! Put me down! I don’t want to go yet.’ She carefully lowered me onto the bed and disappeared.’ E. H. – In this example the dreamer is feeling fear about being carried off by death.
Example: ‘A dark grey sugar loaf form materialised. This pillar lightened in shade as I watched. It didn’t move. I began to think it was Mrs. Molten who died in 1956. The feeling grew stronger but still the colour lightened. Then it bent over and kissed my head. In that instant I knew it WAS my mother. An ecstatic joy and happiness such as I have never known on earth suffused me. That happiness remained constantly in mind for the next few days.’ Mr M.
Here the dreamer has not only come to terms with his mother’s and his own death, but also found this inner reality.
Example: ‘A couple of months ago as I was waking I felt my husband’s arm across me and most realistically experienced my hand wrapping around his arm and turning toward him which I had done so often in his lifetime and saying ‘I thought you had died. Thank God you have not.’ Then I awoke alone and terribly shaken.’ Mrs I. – The example both shows the resolution of the loss, but also the paradox felt at realising the meeting was an inner reality.
A critic might say this is only a dream in which a lonely woman is replaying memories of her dead husband’s presence for her own comfort. Thus her disappointment on being disillusioned. Whatever our opinion, the women has within her such memories to replay. These are a reality. The inner reality is of what experience was left within her from the relationship. Her challenge is whether she can meet this treasure with its share of pain, and draw out of it the essence which enriches her own being. That is the spiritual life of her husband. The ‘aliveness’ of her husband in that sense is also social, because many other people share memories of the same person. What arises into their own lives from such memories, is the observable influence of the now dead person. But the dead also touch us more mysteriously, as in the next example. See: Dead Husband or Ex
Example: In a recent news program on television, a man who survived the Japanese prisoner of war camp in Singapore had been given a photograph of children by a dying soldier he did not know. The man had asked him to tell his family of his death, but did not give his name. The photograph was kept for forty odd years, the man still wanting to complete his promise but not know how. One night he dreamt he was told the man’s name. Enquiries soon found the family of the man, who had an identical photograph.
Dreams about a Dead Person – General Meaning:
This can represent some area of your life that has ‘died’. It can refer to death of feelings, such as hopelessness in connection with relationship and the loss of feelings about someone; the depression that follows big changes in your life such as loss of a loved partner, job, or child. It can also reflect the sense you have of your life in general, that it is without the stimulus of motivation and satisfaction, as when one feels oneself in a ‘going nowhere’ relationship or life situation. The dead person in the dream may link several of these feelings together, as symbols often represent huge areas of our experience. So the dead person my be a part of oneself you want to leave behind, to die out.
Some dreams are so clearly about the person who died. Here is an example of such a dream by a young child.
With his brothers and friends he went to bathe in a mill pool. He was only four or five at the time, and could not swim. In the recklessness of their-play, one of the children pushed him into deeper water. At that moment, the mill gates opened and water rushed through carrying him along. He was drowned – but some adults who were hastily called to the scene managed to pull him out and revive him.
As his father carried him home in his arms, the boy talked about his mother, who had died some years earlier and at first his father smiled at his story.
The boy said that as he went under the water he felt himself sinking down and down into darkness. Then there was a change and he felt himself rising up slowly until at last he rose to the surface.
He was in a huge sea. Around him, other people were also surfacing, and all were being gradually washed towards the nearby shore. There on the beach, people waited, and greeted those who were brought to them by the sea.
And as he himself drew near there on a small promontory were his grandparents waiting to welcome him – and in front – his mother, and she bent to draw him into her arms. She took hold of his hands and as she did so, a cross around her neck swung before his face. Sparkling in it were seven stones. But at that moment, something seemed to pull him away, and he sank into the sea and at last awoke on the riverbank.
The other half of the Story
At the conclusion of the story, his father’s condescending smile vanished. They were now at home and his father left the room, obviously deeply moved. Only years later did he tell his son the other half of the story.
The boy’s mother had died when her son was tiny and she had died on her birthday. For many weeks before, her husband had saved for a special present which he had kept secret. On her death, heart-broken, he had crept down to the coffin in the middle of the night, unscrewed the lid and given the present to his dead wife. It was a cross with seven stones, and the secret of it had been buried with her.
Putting together a picture of many such death experiences, we can begin to see a general view of what it might be like, what it certainly is for some, to die.
First of all comes a lessening and eventual disappearance of bodily sensations. Although all pain and physical awareness goes, most people are still conscious of their physical surroundings and of other people. In fact they often watch their own body breathe its last struggling breaths.
Usually people see themselves in a body, but it’s sometimes more perfect than the body they have just left. Their perceptions are nearly always enormously heightened in many ways. There seems to be no sensation of gravity or weight – the whole room or area can be seen instantaneously, as if with circular vision, and there is an awareness of the thoughts and emotions of those present.
See Talking with those who have passed on
Dreams about a Dead Husband or Wife:
Many dreams of dead people come from women who have lost their husband. It is common to have disturbing dreams for some period afterwards; or not be able to dream about the husband or wife at all; or to see the partner in the distance but not get near. In accepting the death, meeting any feelings of loss, grief, anger and continuing love, the meeting become easier.
But as with the example above, there are many cases where people meet their dead in dreams and have tremendous assurance.
Dreams about a Dead Mother:
As with other ‘dead person’ dreams they usually show how we are working out or unfolding our relationship with them. They can be wonderfully confirming of continued existence.
Example: ‘A dark grey sugar loaf form materialised. This pillar lightened in shade as I watched. It didn’t move. I began to think it was Mrs. Molten who died in 1956. The feeling grew stronger but still the colour lightened. Then it bent over and kissed my head. In that instant I knew it WAS my mother. An ecstatic joy and happiness such as I have never known on earth suffused me. That happiness remained constantly in mind for the next few days.’ Mr. M.
Dreams about a Dead Child:
When our child dies it is one of the most heartbreaking experiences we can meet. Sometimes it takes years to adjust to what has happened. Not only is the adjustment emotional and psychological, but also your way of life is often built around the person you have lost. Therefore the changes we meet can be enormous. However, we each have enormous resources of healing and ability to meet the new if we can access them. Very often there are experiences we have, or dreams, that continue our relationship with the child. Unfortunately we live in a culture that often denies the possibility of this.
The example below shows how this can be possible.
For instance, Dr. Morse, in his book Closer to the Light, tells of a mother who came to him because she hadn’t slept properly for 1041 nights after the death of her son. She showed him a picture of her son, but Dr Morse was suddenly called away to a ward emergency. Having dealt with the sick baby, he was writing up the notes and a nurse who had been helping said to him, ‘Who was that person who came in with you? Is he a student?’
Morse did not understand what the nurse was talking about as nobody had come into the hospital with him. As he was trying to find a pen for the notes he was writing he pulled out the photograph of the woman’s son. Immediately the nurse said, ‘That’s him. He kept trying to get your attention’.
When he returned to his office Morse asked the mother if she had ever been contacted by her son after his death. She said, ‘Oh yes. After he died, for several nights he would stand at the foot of my bed and tell me he was alright, and that I should stop crying. But that was only a crazy dream.’ However, such things are not crazy dreams, but insights into a greater reality.
After her conversation with Dr. Morse the woman slept properly for the fist time in nearly three years.
Summary of after death experience
Because after death we are still in a dream like existence, we tend to create around us those things we expect to see or experience. So someone who has no previous information about death may wander around for awhile confused. A Christian may see Christ welcoming them, so the beginnings are very varied, and a Buddhist might meet Buddha, or a Muslim might see Muhammad. But there is some sort of life review. This is about harvesting all of value from the life experience. Not only do we gathered the lessons we learned from our life, but we also relive it moment by moment, feeling and reviewing our own feelings, but also the feelings we engendered in others. But because we are no longer living a life in three dimensions and time, it will be an all at once experience, not stretched over time.
This can be quite a trial considering the life we have lived. But it is not a judgement from outside us, but a self judgement of the quality of our life. We need to pass through this because after death we have left the physical world and moving toward the spiritual. We can see this as the Big Self; the Self with Enormous Love. But there is an enormous transition taking place at death. We lived within a body, and now without it we have to be ready for life without it in what is called the spirit world. That is why the life review is necessary. All our earthly experience has to be put through a transformation to make it fit for a wider life. The wider life works through universal connections, and the less we personally can connect with the universal the less fit we are for the universal life.
Something that I have noticed is that some people believe, and therefore experience, that ‘heaven’ is exactly like life on earth except better. They see it as having houses and living much the same way. But that is not really the whole truth, because just as our body grows and changes, so do we in the after death state.
It seems as if there is a great difference between existing in a body and surviving in the grand world of the spirit. For in the spirit world there has to be found something that will link the life with giving and receiving from others, and of course the integration with a greater purpose.
Many people say they go along a tunnel toward a great light, and then a great spirit leads them through life review. Others go through a door to the light, and others go up a flight of grand stairs.
Having lost their body and its appetites there may be a period of adaptation to a life in a world without boundaries. Also because the spirit world is similar to the world of dreams, you create around you an environment made up of your own inner state. So if you are full of hate, murderous impulses and selfishness, you create a world like that is usually called hell. We are not ‘cast into hell’ we create it ourselves.
The same with heaven, it is created out of all the attitudes and ideas and feelings that are in harmony with the way the universe works or is. As a friend told me after his death, “I cannot escape myself. This is because everywhere I look is like a mirror. Every direction I find a reflection of me. It is three-dimensional. It doesn’t matter if I look up or down, left or right, all I see are expressions of who I am.”
At first one will look much as you did at death, except if you are old or ill, then you have quickly gained a more youthful and healthy appearance. But of course that is only your physical shape, and you will create that because that is who you think you are. But a great and probably slow swing over will occur. Because your body is gone, and you are moving toward the spiritual being that has always stood behind your life and witnessed it and given it impulses to try to live out, so gradually you may lose any sense of being male or female.
It is possible some people will not make it that far, but will go into a sleep state until their next life in the body. But if they can maintain consciousness as they meet these changes they will slowly become a greater being, and have an awareness that could be seen as super human, touching all around them. This is why some dead relatives come back to us in dreams and visions and tell us things they would never have normally been capable of knowing.
Another conversation with a dead friend stated some of this:
I seems to me that things are different for me now. I feel something that is difficult to understand. I seem to be getting less and less of the me I knew; yet at the same time more of who I am. More of me is being lost, but at the same time more of me is being gained. A strange paradox.
Then there is the going beyond even more barriers toward what can be called real spiritual awareness.
In the next region, one sees how the person’s life has accorded not only with their own Self, but with the ‘true being of the world’. We see ourselves as we exist, in or out of harmony with that world consciousness, that essence of all beings, sometimes called God or the Christ, or Krishna, or Buddha. Here is the judging, the self judging, of the ‘quick and the dead.’
And finally, in this withdrawal, the seventh region is reached, ‘quick or dead’, asleep or awake to the highest in us. ‘The man stands here’ says Steiner, ‘in the presence of the “Life-kernels”, which have been transplanted from higher worlds, in order that in them they may fulfil their tasks.’ These ‘tasks’, expressing through the self, mediated by the soul, and materialised by the body, usually motivate us unconsciously. In this region, if consciousness remains, we know ourselves as the whole cosmos of sun, moon, planets, and stars; as all beings, creatures and kingdoms. When we look at these through our physical eyes, we are looking at our own wholeness. The ‘Life kernel’ is the doorway to other ‘cosmic beings’. ‘The life between death and a new birth, and is really a living through the world of stars: but this means, through the spirit of the world of stars,’ not the physical stars. See What Happens When I Die?
Coming back to earth
Having made this ascent to the innermost of our nature, the essence of the whole cosmos, there now comes for most of us, a return to a fresh physical experience.
There awakens a ‘desire’ or direction, to perfect one’s own being and that of the earth. ‘Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven,’ is an impulse from this region. Depending upon what fruits were brought to each region, this descent enables certain things, qualities or strengths to be ‘claimed’ from each level of our being. A new spiritual ‘seed’ or ‘germ’ is fashioned which will play its part in fashioning our body. The essence of the future personality chooses the hereditary line and its parents. Steiner says the parents provide a seed bed of physical substance, impregnated with their own characteristics of body and psyche. At conception, the material substance is broken down into the germinal level of chaos, in which all physical form is dissolved. The spirit ‘germ’ of the new being takes hold of this.
At birth the ‘germ’ of the future personality and body, is clothed with physical substance drawn from the parents, along with inherited temperamental qualities. Working with these as materials is the essence of the past life and death experience. This spiritual impulse, takes the ‘model’ given by the parents, and works into it the pattern it brings from its central experience. So there comes into being, through life and death, another life upon the earth.
Just as there was a reliving of life at death, so just prior to birth there is a reliving of death. ‘He sees a tableau which this time displays all the hindrances he must remove, if his evolution is to make further progress. And what he sees becomes the starting point of forces that he must carry with him into a new life. See Life and Death; Steiner Life after death
Another conversation with a dead friend provided the following information.
I am in process of creating a new life. But this is something like a work of art, not however, as we think of it with brush and paint. I felt it like a constant rise and fall of possibilities and forms that I, the Spirit I, was giving birth to. As one rose it expressed a certain quality, and this was in some way compared, or its harmonic compared, with all that existed in the changing spiritual and physical world. There was as yet no total interface between what was being created in this way, and what was expressed by the changing worlds. So I was gradually sifting the emphasis of all it contained from life experience and its possible future connections with physical life, moving toward a harmonic unity. It was explained to me that the unity would be a real connection with time, place, parents and the life that would emerge from them. When that harmonic unity was made the new life would begin.
Useful Questions and Hints:
Have I dreamt of any dead person?
How did I react to the dream?
Can I accept that we have an inner world?
See Inner World – Techniques for Exploring your Dreams – Questions
Comments
I do not normally have dreams but when I have one it is for the future. Example after my brother died I dreamt that there will be another family member who will die after 6 months after my father followed.
There are other dreams that did not happened in the past it is always in the future.
Jean – If that is so, then you have the gift of prophecy. As it says in the bible, 1 Corinthians 14: Pursue love, yet desire earnestly spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.
So something so special should be polished and made to shine, not simply for your family but for others.
Tony
I am 22 weeks pregnant and shortly after finding out my boyfriend passed away in a motorcycle accident. I keep having dreams about just being with him like going to the fair, riding motorcycles and just being near him. We never really talk in the dreams just smiles hugs and kisses. When he talks he tells me everything is ok. The dreams were ok at first but now they are more frequent and i think there is more meaning to them.
Krystal – Your dreams are typical of after death communications. But it might be that he died suddenly and so hasn’t accepted his death fully. If that is so I suggest you talk to him explaining your concern that something isn’t right about your dreams, and that maybe he needs to recognise he is dead.
It helps to sit quietly and have a mental picture of the dream and your boyfriend, and then talk to him and listen for any thoughts such as conversation that occurs. In Tibet they always sat with the dead for several days an explained their death and the wonderful possibilities. Here is something that was read to the dead in Tibet.
O nobly-born, when thy body and mind were separating, thou must have experienced a glimpse of the Pure Truth, subtle, sparkling, bright, dazzling, glorious, and radiantly awesome, in appearance like a mirage moving across a landscape in spring-time in one continuous stream of vibrations. Be not daunted thereby, nor terrified, nor awed. That is the radiance of thine own true nature. Recognise it.
From the midst of that radiance, the natural sound of Reality, reverberating like a thousand thunders simultaneously sounding, will come. This is the natural sound of thine own real self. Be not daunted thereby, nor terrified, nor awed.
Tony
This is really amazing. Cause I’ve been having dreams about a dead person who is very close to me, but I hadn’t quite come to realize it at that period of time. Anyways, my dreams was sorta like this: I was kinda helping a nurse bandage his head, and was real sad seeing him lying there motionless. And while she can’t see it, he comes back to life…and we are just happy. He tells me not to tell anyone he was alive, until of course he can get out of that stretcher/ coffin whatever. And we are waiting for the nurse to leave, who has her back towards us while we are having this little mischievous plan!
I dont really care if this means anything or not but I think its really interesting how our body can take something so seriously and dream about it subconciously.
Joy – Well, it certainly means you are capable of ‘little mischievous plans’. 🙂
I am not so sure it is the body that takes something so seriously. Without consciousness the body is inert and without much motivation. So it is consciousness that does the work – or maybe Life.
Tony
Hello Tony,
Mu husband died 5 month ago in a tragic motorcycle accident. He called me and left me a message before passing, which I got hours later, and I think over and over again how I could have been able to help him if I would have picked up that phone call. I’ve had a few dreams with him where he comes back, like if his passing was a mistake, but he is not happy, he seems upset to be back, like he anscious, impatient to go, he’s looking around. Also, when he just passed I dreamt with him diving, which he loved, and brought from the bottom of the ocean a stone that had engraved “Jesus loves me”.
Thanks for your time.
Last Night I dreamt I dies in an accident, But then all of a sudden I was back at home with my family, My sisters and mom and dad all together basically mourning. At first I didn’t understand as to why they couldn’t see me but then realised I was some kind of a spirit.
I was then at my funeral which I can remember my sister sitting on my Grave reading a letter to me she had wrote. I freaked out and screamed at her with all I had in me! Then only did she turn around and she could see me.
I couldnt touch her but she could see me and that was good enough for me. We could communicate.
I also saw my boyfriend who eventually I managed to put all my energy in reaching out to him and he could then see me to and only then did he mourn and actually cry about my death. I spoke to him and for some reason in my dream I somehow beleived that I was dead but I was in like a “Waiting Period” and that is why I was back on earth as i was waiting to be judged. Waiting for me to be sent away to where ever I was supposed to go.
There are many things that happened in this dream that I have no way of explaining but it really is bothering me.
i lost my father on 23/10/10…..he love me & my family very much even i cant tell you how much he love us and we love him….but after death ,he never come in our dreams….i want to see him in my dreams please tell me some thing please- 1000000000000000…..i really want to see him……please help…..
My parents passed away in 2005 (3 days apart). Sometimes I dream of just one of them–occasionlly both of them. Mostly they dont say anything to me in my dreams. Just smile and hug me while I tell them I love them and miss them so much. Sometimes they say they love me. Today I dreamed that my mom’s hair was growing back and was very short and blonde. (She had black hair and she lost it to cancer). This time when I hugged her, she told me she loved me. I look forward to seeing my parents in my dreams, but today, I have cried about it. I miss her so much.
Rune – We have mostly been brought up to believe that death is the end. I guess that is why you miss your parents so much. But you can be with them any time you wish, and it doesn’t take dreams to do it.
When my friend Kevin died I didn’t even think of talking with him. But then a friend told me he had climbed a hill where Kevin’s ashes were spread and talked with him. I wanted to find out for myself so climbed the hill and it seemed like words flowed into my consciousness and as I learned to do it anywhere, some of the things he told me about his experience of death were new to me. I grew in confidence and learned a great deal. Kevin explained that for him there were changes in what he met – like your mother’s hair changing colour. And one of the things I learned was that one doesn’t have to struggle. I had thought that one has to be special and be a medium to receive such. But that sort of thinking gets in the way, and all one needs is love and open arms to receive them. Then let all your feelings speak to you, and to them.
Tony
I had a dream about an old boyfriend that died years ago. He was in a coffin and we were waiting for my other friend to show up, whose mom had died recently and was buried on the same day as my boyfriend. In my dream I walked up to his coffin and he opened his eyes and spoke to me. He said he wasn’t dead he was here but couldn’t tell me till then. I also dreamed of holding a blanket that had a letter written on it from me to him. In my dream I just remember crying after he appeared alive, but the tears were a sense of relief too. I was recently back in the state he had died in for my friend’s mom’s funeral. She was buried on Oct. 28, so was my boyfriend and that was the day that I also went to his grave not remembering the actual date of burial until I went to cemetary and saw the information. It has been LOTS of years that I had even been to his grave. There were several other signs that I have seen since my friend’s mom died and are in relation to him as well.
What does this mean? Is he trying to tell me something? Feels like he is reaching out to me more now than ever before. I hope I’m not reading too much into all this but it does bring a sense of love and warmth to me too.
Maria – It brings a sense of warmth and love to me too reading what you have said.
When we die we can go into a very different experience of being, one that gives an enormously enlarged opportunity to, as you say, “Reaching out to me more now than ever before.”
Unlike older cultures we are not taught how to listen to our loved dead. People expect the dead to talk to them as if they were alive – making physical sounds. But the dead contact us though feelings and thoughts, and unless we are quiet enough to listen we cannot hear them. But you obviously are hearing and feeling. So keep that sense of warmth and love and let it grow even bigger.
Tony
hi tony, i hope you can shed some light on this as zolars encyclopedia failed to. my mother died of cancer back in the mid 90’s we had a very bad relationship but all the same we loved each other. yes i have harboured some resentment and anger toward her but it petered out a few months before she was diagnosed with lympth gland cancer. yes i know it was a little to late but even so we then had a fair relationship. anyhow since her passing i have had a really bad time divorce, drug addiction and this only started to surface just after i got married. i had everything. and lost it. so dad dead at 14 and my mother when i was 21 (now 38) im just mellowing. so since my mothers parting i have had appx 3 dreams about her. the most important one was last week (31/10/10) . i dreamt that my mum looked like my nan (her mum) and i saw my nans face but i knew it was my mother. i was so upset in the dream asking her loads of questions “why did you die? you havent even seen my children yet” “why was you so horrible?” can you make head or tail of this tony?. and why come to me now in my dreams? i visit and tend the grave of my parents fairly regulary i seem to be the only one out of a massive family of mine. what was the purpose of her visit? many thanks look forward to your reply
jason
Jason – I feel like I have been there in a similar situation. Of course it started to surface after you got married. This is because you started having a love relationship, and this released all the undealt issues you have about being left by father, being ignored or possible mishandled by your mother. But in your words “we had a very bad relationship.”
I took me years climbing out of a similar hole – and I am 73 at the moment. And it doesn’t matter what you feel about your mother now because you were shaped early on, and that shape is habitual – even held in place by painful emotions.
All the questions you asked in the dream were full of meaning and passion – and I feel each of them needs to be explored in depth.
I don’t know if I have anything to help you, because although I found a way through, and it took years, it isn’t a way that appeals to many people. I sum it up here – http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/lifes-little-secrets/
From what you say you seem to be honest in your self appraisal, so that is a great start. And you need to add to that, that you know little of what made you. I found an enormous help through asking what I call my Core Self to help. To meet your core self take time to consider what you think or feel underlies your life. Do you think of yourself as caused by chemical processes, biological activities, or maybe even mechanical and unconscious forces? Perhaps you believe that God created you. Whatever you believe, can you completely define how that came about?
Another way of asking this question is to say do you know everything about what causes you to exist? For instance, although we now know a great deal about life processes in biological science, that science still recognises that life is a mystery. Can you take that attitude to your own origins? Can you accept that at the base of your being is a mystery you do not fully understand? If you can admit you do not fully know, can you let go of present convictions or beliefs and open to that mystery? Can you then ask for help and be open to how the reply comes at you.
Tony
many many thanks for your lengthy reply. it has brought great comfort to me your knowledge.
Thank you Jason. There is so much to say, and so little opportunity to say it.
Blessings – Tony
Hi, My Aunt who was very close to me died two years ago. However, i kept on dreaming about her oncde in a while, it had been frequent recently. I dreamt that she was still in her old house, where she lived for many years, even though she didn’t die in there. In my dream, she told me that she was fine, but she get scared whenever the windows are open and whenever she looks at the moon. What does this mean? I have a feeling that her spirit is still in the old house, and she haven’t left yet. Should I do something?
Mia Dolan, in her book The Gift, tells about a meeting with an elderly woman who loved her house so much she would not leave when she died. She even took to looking after the young couple who owned her house now. She even managed to move cups, explaining that she loved to keep the house tidy. Mia help her realise there was a lot more for her to explore in the afterlife, and she then left the house.
If you can I suggest that before you go to sleep you hold an image of you talking to your Aunt and explaining that she can get a lot more out of her afterlife experience. Also tell her that it would not mean losing contact with you.
You could also ask her to remember any friends who have died,as this would put her in touch with them. Then see what you dream.
Tony
When I was younger i fell in love for the first time with boy named Detrique. I loved him so much, inside and out. I moved a year later and the time and distance away from him allowed me to move on fromt eh relationship and to get over him. I kept in contact with him a little bit and had talked to him only about three or four times for four years. One day one of my friends called me and informed me of his death. I broke down in tears and was like that for almost a week straight. I’ve had two dreams about him. In both I would see him and his mother smiling and happy and I would ask him what happened and why wasn’t he dead. His answer is that someone made a mistake and that he never really died. The dreams went about the same way but thet occurred in different settings (one in a neighborhood and one in my old school) but in the second one i was happier to see him and we talked and touched eachother more. What does this mean?!?!?!?!
Aliyyah – It is possibly that when Detrique dies he didn’t know he was dead. In other words the death of the body can happen and afterwards you feel exactly the same, only better. I left my body at one time and was shocked that my mother, who I had travelled out of the body from Germany to be with, couldn’t see me. Yet here I was solid and lifelike.
I would be interested in what happened in the school dream. I wondered what you maybe learnt there. But it sounds like you are sharing dreams with him, and maybe could help him recognize that he is dead, and can move on from living like he has a body.
Tony
My Dad passed away last month 09/12/10 in the Philippines. I went home for the funeral and so was able to at least see him one last time. Last night my Dad was in my dreams – he wanted me to get him a new pair of shoes (the same ones he got and wore to my wedding) – then the dream shifted to me getting married again. What does it mean?
Marie – Dreams are often expressions of very deep and passionate feelings. Life itself is a passionate affair, although many of us do not let ourselves feel the passions. So I would like it if you could have told me what you felt about your father wanted new shoes, and you getting married again. All information adds to what I use to reply to your dream.
Getting married again – does that mean you are no longer married? Anyway the dream seems to say that this is a special occasion – the new shoes. It is a special occasion because he is with you in your dreams, and the dream goes on to say there is even more to celebrate in your wedding.
Tony
Hi Tony – I often have a dream about my best friend that died 6 years ago from cancer. My husband and I stayed with his wife and family for the few weeks that he was home hospiced until he died. I often dream about him – that we FORGOT about him and THought that he had died and infact had not. Then life goes on with us living with him living with cancer. By the time i am about to wake up again, he dies again in my dream and I relive the horror of losing him all over again. THere’s a lot of other crazy details that change each time, but, the dream happens often and it stays with me for days.
Wendie – I have difficulty in deciding whether this is a contact with your dead friend of whether it comes out of your view of death.
I will try to explain. If you believe that death is the end, and yet you see your friend alive, then it would seem he is still suffering from cancer.
Now if it is a contact with him, then it is his own awful view of death that is keeping him trapped in his images of death. If it is like that it would help him enormously if you could explain to him how he has created this world through his idea of death.
You see, every night when we sleep we leave our physical senses behind. So in our dreams we have a taste of death. In fact it seems from those who explore death that it is like dreaming and not waking up. As a friend told me, before he knew he had cancer, ‘An angel came to me and explained that before we are born we are all angels and are without limitations. When we are born we take on a life of limitations in order to learn something important to us. Then when we die at the end of that life we return to being an angel. All the limitations of life then disappear again.’ The point I wanted to make is that we create our own heaven and hell in dreams and in death through what we believe or hold on to.
So if you want to take that into yourself and pass it on to your dead friend it can help. It has helped many. And if you can look up http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/nothing-is-permanent/ it can explain a lot more.
Tony
Tony, I don’t believe that someone is sill sick if they come back in the dream. My father just died one month ago from cancer and he came to me last night in my dream. He said he could always come back through this closet and come see me and my mother. Then when he left he layed in the ground and the grass covered his body. When he died he was cremated and we scattered his ashes in a garden. The cancer was hurting him and he was on crutches when he died, when he came to me in the dream he was also on crutches but he was happy and he knew that he had passed away. It was like he was there to tell me he would be back and that he is alright.
Lenni – Of course you are right about your father, and you must realise that different dreams need different answers.
Your father will soon leave his crutches behind. And please let me know any other dreams you have as I can learn a lot from such dreams as yours.
Tony
I really like the topic about the meaning of Dreams a Dead Child, which I am also dreaming my son died last month September 20, 2010 because of Dengue Shock Syndrome.
My Grandfather died this week. The night after he died I dreamt I was looking at him in the coffin, strangely I remember he was hairier than usual and he came alive again. I almost think he was still in the coffin dead but alive it and walking also. He still looked like himself but he was slightly younger, more radient and his movements were easier and youthful. I was so happy he was alive and I asked him what happened when he died. He replied that when he died he had to join a queue along with everyone else in order to receive his ‘Certificate of Life’. I remember just feeling happy about this and then I he went up a spiral staircase. Have you any idea what this meant?
Emma 🙂
Emma – I am intrigued about where you got to up the spiral staircase.
What it means? Well it is classic after death dream of contact with your Grandfather. You are lucky to have one so quickly. In understanding the dream, or dreaming, you have to realise that just as with sight, your brain receives formless nervous impulses. Then they are translated into understandable vision. So the piece about being in the coffin is you translating his ‘sending’ to you in the images. For instance the piece about the ‘Certificate of Life’ is another classic after death experience, but in words I haven’t come across before. There is a feature about it here: http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dreams-about-dead-people/#after-death
Usually it is a question asked, such as “What have you brought from your life?” It is a harvesting their whole life experience, a process helping the newly dead to gain a perspective on their life.
Tony
Hi Tony, I made a typo there, I meant he went up the spiral staircase. I don’t think I went up or if I did it wasn’t far and I couldn’t see him. The feature is very interesting. I’ve since woken up in the middle of the night thinking I saw granda in my room standing to the right of my bed – but I put the experience down to dreaming. I don’t know if you think it means anything or if you’ve ever come accross this before, but in the weeks before Grandas death I kept seeing sort of flies or flying black dots infront of my eyes but they werent physical beings. I mean this may just have been lack of sleep or something just wondering. Thanks so much for your insight its a great comfort.
Emma 🙂
Emma – Even more interesting that ‘he’ went up the spiral staircase. Some time when I have a minute or two I will collect together the dreams about the dead I have or have record of.
The spiral staircase is another symbol of him ascending out of the physical world. I think you would get a lot of good feelings and help from reading the book Closer to the Light by Dr. Morse.
Hey – what do you mean by “putting it down to dreaming!” 🙂 It is the way we have extended perception – ESP.
Tony
Thanks Tony, I must get that book. I envy your insight! I dream a lot and remember my dreams – I also sometimes realise I’m dreaming so your sight is very interesting! Thanks again,
Emma 🙂
Good to hear from you again Emma.
I hope you do get the book, as I would like to know what you think of it.
Tony