DREAM INTERPRETER

Dream meanings - enabling you to interpret your own dreams

Tony Crisp

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AEROSOL Something that may influence you in a subtle, or perhaps invisible way. Feelings under pressure that may escape at the press of a button. Means of dealing with a situation, depending on what the aerosol does in the dream - getting rid of irritants? Killing germs? Cleaning something?

Useful questions are:

What is the dream aerosol designed to do, and how does that connect with your needs or desires?

Do I want to kill something - if so what does that suggest in my life?

What situation am I changing with the aerosol?

AFFAIR - In general dreaming of a pleasant affair is a way of enjoying or exercising the wonderful feelings of falling in love and sharing emotional and sexual pleasure. Many dreams are compensatory, and therefore make up for the lack of passion or excitement in our daily life. But having an affair in a dream may help keep alive or active the ability to love and be loved if there is not sufficient stimulus in waking life. It is not unusual for married and happy people to dream of an affair with someone else.

This may express nothing more than a desire for variety, but of course occasionally is the sign of an infatuation or desire for the person we love in the dream. Adultery dreams may also express release of sexual feelings; desire for another partner; desire for one's partner to have sex with someone else.

The person you are having an affair with may represent a particular attitude or situation in your life. Therefore if the dream has a strong feeling such as failure or fear attached to it, the affair might well be dealing with your ?relationship? with such

life situations. Examples include - infidelity; betrayal; failure; longing for love; feeling alone in a relationship; etc.

Another possibility with dreams about an affair is that they express the constant process of trying to find a balance between what we deeply desire and what is socially or personally possible. Some people will marry or live with a person because that person is the best they could achieve in the circumstances. Nevertheless they may still long for someone different. Or perhaps there are aspects of relationship missing in their present situation, and they long for a fuller satisfaction but do not want to

destroy their present situation. See: boyfriend; sex in dreams; last example in dark.

Difficult affair: Because dreams are a safe area to explore our emotions and relationships, such difficult dreams may be a way of meeting fears we have about relationship. Often they bring to the surface painful feelings about a past or present relationship. There is thus a chance to work through such difficulties toward an ease with ones feelings of attraction and love. See: processing dreams.

Dreaming about someone you are having a waking affair with: Your feelings about, analysis of, fears regarding the state of the affair and where it will develop. See: Fifth example below.

Homosexual affair: For women their first love affair was with their mother, so was a love for someone of the same sex. So a woman's homosexual dream may often have this element of seeking the comfort and love of the mother. In a more general sense such dreams may depict ones difficulties or fears of relating to someone of the other sex; ones hidden feelings and difficulties regarding ones father if in a male's dream; the introversion of ones own sexuality and desires if one is being seduced or buggered; or meeting an autonomous or dissociated part of ones own nature; exploring what is involved at a more than surface level in the relationship.

Loving affair: Our experience or pleasure in relationship is one of the most profound experiences we can meet. It can be enormously healing if we can relate to pleasure in a way that does not cause tension or guilt. Therefore loving relationships in dreams are ways of exploring our own possibilities, not only within ourselves, but also in future relatedness. The person we are relating to in the dream is an image not only of our own desires but also of how we relate to intimacy, love and pleasure. The interaction with them reveals all your difficulties and skills in regard to living and being loved.

In Damon's dream below, he gradually moves beyond a feeling of separateness to an experience of union. This suggests he is feeling at ease with his own sexuality and ability to melt, thus allowing another person to enter his feelings deeply. In fact when such union takes place there is a very real sharing of self in a psychological way, much as there is at a physical level when the sex cells merge and share genetic material.

Ones partner having an affair: If the dream is disturbing, usually displays the fears we have about being unlovable or inadequate - see example below; a deep wish to be rid of ones partner. So seeing him/her with another person makes it possible to leave him/her without feelings of guilt or responsibility. In a very few cases this depicts an intuition of ones partner having a secret affair in real life. See: autonomous complex; sixth example under age.

Example: I was in a building with a number of people. Winnie, a woman I worked with many years ago was there, sitting cross legged on the floor. I went to her and kissed her. She responded and I put my hand down on her thigh under her skirt, and gently moved it under her knickers to touch her vagina. It was moist and wet with excitement and I pushed my fingers into the slippery crevice. As I did so my feelings rose in a beautiful soft and satisfying orgasm. I thought I had ejaculated, but had not.

Then I was in a street and met a dark haired young woman. We embraced and kissed. The feeling of mutual pleasure was intense. So much so I felt what she was feeling as if we did not have separate bodies. I felt an orgasm grow inside her pelvis and reach its pitch, flowing into the rest of her body. It was her orgasm but it felt as if it were mine also. It was a beautiful melting experience with no harshness or disappointment anywhere. Damon.

In the dream below Andrew's fear of his wife's desire for another man is being expressed. But the dream really depicts Andrew's feelings of sexual inadequacy.

Example: I was on board a pleasure cruiser with my wife. As I stood on a high deck I looked down and saw her sitting below with very tight knickers on and nothing else. As a man walked toward her the knickers came off or slipped down. The man was sexually aroused and started attempting to penetrate her. She only put up a token resistance, mewing a bit, but not fighting him off. I rushed toward them and kicked him off.? Andrew P.

Example: I sit on a bed. Near me, looking at a book I am holding is a woman I know, Stella. I realise as we talk that her foot is touching mine. As my wife is on my left across the room I feel uncomfortable about this. Now Stella has her left hand on my penis. I have only underpants on. She remarks that it is interesting that my penis has its own little pocket, which is a reference to my pants, and seems to make sense in the dream. The contact is pleasant and undemanding, but I feel more and more ill at ease. I feel Stella is not having any respect for my relationship with my wife and start to tell her so. As I do this I realise I am sitting so near to the edge of the bed I am almost falling off. Rick D.

This dream presents the struggle Rick has with his pleasure at having the attention of another woman, and his feelings of connection with his wife. The edge of the bed and falling suggests he feels very on edge and insecure about such feelings.

Example: Someone was fondling my breasts. I felt the weight of whoever it was as they lay by my side. An electric like feeling ran up from my feet. It woke me up instantly as I was terrified. I dreaded going to bed. My husband and I have had separate rooms for years, due to his insomnia. The dream occurred a few times a week. Sometimes twice a night. Eliza L.

Eliza is a spiritualist, so believes the experience is a psychic event. As a casual observer there appears to be a direct connection between the lack of her husbands attention and the clear experience of a sexual partner. Her terror is most likely due to the fact that Eliza is actually frightened of her strong sexual feelings, and so may have chosen an undemanding husband. If not that, she is certainly afraid of this emergence of her dream life into apparent physical reality. See: hallucinations.

Example: I was sitting with my husband, my daughter or sister, and Rachel C. Rachel, who is the same age as my daughter, was telling us all that she wanted and would have a sexual relationship with B, my husband. As she kept talking about this, I thought, at first, how open and honest she was being and how easily she could talk about her sexuality, but as I listened I began to feel cross and upset as I saw B. was going along with what she was saying. She and my husband lay down on the wooden floor. He was being very encouraging and his eyes were shining very brightly. At this point I felt very upset. My daughter/sister pointed out to everyone that I was upset but no one seemed to notice until then, and I felt that B. was really teasing me and making fun of my not being able to cope with the situation. My husband came over to me with his arm out to touch me but I was so angry and I put my arm up to shield myself from his touch and then began to throw things at him to express how angry I was feeling. H.

Example: For the last year I have been having an affair with a married man. I dream I am visiting his home, and as I approach or should I say float up to the front door, which is open, I can clearly see him standing in the hall. One of his sons is shouting down the stairs and he is answering back. He seems agitated and harassed. I deliberately float by the open door and linger long enough for him to see me. At this point I am aware that something is following at my heel. My man then quickly comes out of the house and sadly indicates he cannot leave his family and home for me, and quickly returns to the domestic scene. I then sadly turn away, and as I look down I see a large scraggy Irish wolfhound. I realise he has come out of the back door of the house, and has been following me closely. The striking part of the dream is this rough looking dog, for when I look into its deep dark brown eyes I can see and feel such love and devotion and am so warmed. As I take the road away from the house, the dog stays close at my heels and I know I have a devoted friend who will never leave me and I feel much happier. As we walk away I can hear in the distance my man's wife calling the dog from the back door. On getting no reply I hear her irritatedly say ?Well, we can easily get another one.? and bangs the door. J. Y.

J. is working out her situation with her lover in this dream, realising for herself that he is not going to leave his family. Nevertheless, she does take something positive from the relationship, shown as the dog, which probably depicts devotion and warm love.

See: Example under the triangle under family and relationships.

Useful questions are:

In what way does this dream comment on my present relationship(s)?

Are there lessons in this dream I can apply to my waking life?

Does the dream show things I am denying myself in waking, or that I could express in waking life?

What problems are shown in the dream that I need to be clear about and work on?

See: Adultery

DREAM INTERPRETER

Dream meanings - enabling you to interpret your own dreams

Tony Crisp

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AFFECTATION If some sign of affectation appears in your dream, you need to ask yourself what you are doing that is not in accord with your deepest feelings or character.

The dream can depict mannerisms that are not in accord with your deepest feelings or character. If the affectation is observed in a person you know, it might be an intuition about them hiding who they really are.

Useful questions are:

Am I doing something out of character, or pretending to be something I'm not?

Why is this happening in the dream and has that got a message for me?

Does this remind me of someone I know - and if so what do I feel about that person?

AFFLICTION See: Illness

AFRAID See: Anxiety; emotions and mood..

AFRICA/AFRICANThis may refer to your own feelings about black and coloured people or racial prejudices if you are white. If you are black, then it is about some aspect of your own personality or experience.

Africa was the birthplace of the human race, so may refer to your personal origins. But if you are aware of particular associations, such as having lived in Africa or studied it, then it would probably refer to those associations.

In dreams we still use native or tribal Africans or Australian Aborigines to represent our own natural inner life, the feeling urges or intuitions that guide or beset us. Thus the African, or being in Africa in a white person's dream, unless we have defined associations with it, may represent a level of our mind or consciousness, that does not differentiate and separate things in the same way our conscious rational mind usually does.

This African or archaic strata of consciousness produces a sense of being connected with the mysterious spirit of life itself. It also gives insights into the wisdom learned through collective human and animal experience.

The African would suggest contact with the insights, intuitions or influences arising from such a source. It therefore also has a connotation or connection with formation, the coming into form of what exists at present unconsciously as potential. See: aboriginal; black people; natives.

In some dreams of black people by white's it often shows much freer sexuality or awareness of life's urges.

Useful questions are:

Is this a connection to the more instinctive aspects of myself?

Does this pertain to feelings about skin colour?

How am I relating to this part of me that connects more fully to my intuitive self?

What can I, or am I learning from this relationship? See: Aboriginal, Abroad.

AFTERLIFE - See: death and rebirth under archetypes; death; death and dreams; death - is there life afterwards.

AFTERNOON The time of day in a dream sometimes refers to a period in your life. In this sense afternoon represents middle age, the years of physical decline, or of fruition in your life. But the dream may not be referring to age. In this case it may suggests a winding down period. See: time of day.

DREAM INTERPRETER

Dream meanings - enabling you to interpret your own dreams

Tony Crisp

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AGE/AGED/AGEING/AGELESS The age of characters, family, animals, objects or yourself in a dream often carry very definite associations or information. What these associations are depends a great deal on what age you are yourself.

In general:

ageing; Moving toward death; a sense of inevitability; an identification with the body rather than with the process of life; passing of ones opportunities offered by the younger phases of your life, but the opening to a new relationship with life given by the new period.

ageless; Depicts the core of you that does not suffer from change; the spiritual aspect of your experience; the changeless core of self which has lived throughout time.

baby or child; Refers to your feelings of dependence or vulnerability, perhaps even helplessness or powerlessness; but often it suggests need for love, support and care; it may even represent actual memories of your own baby/child/hood. The bay or child also depict newness, new opportunity, a fresh approach. See: baby; youth.

extreme old age; Feelings about death; old way of life; some influence in yourself or surroundings that antedates your birth. Influences from ones family such as attitudes or fears may be generations old, and so be depicted as incredibly ancient; often represents something holding a lot of wisdom or experience. One may therefore feel the person is holy or revered in such dreams.

middle aged person; represents achievement, maturity, the ageing process. The elderly person may depict feelings about ones parents or a parent/authority figure; the wisdom gathered from many years of living; the declining power or creativity, or the feelings of decline and loss within oneself. Such feelings are often simply cultural and are not a real reflection of what is possible or opportune at this time of life. It is a time when you have to create your own world and life more fully than in previous 'ages'. See: individuation.

new object or thing; Something that is just appearing in your life, like a new romance or opportunity. But sometimes it represents something that is just a new idea, something that has not got any physical reality yet.

old fashioned; An old way of doing things; something established as compared with something new or emerging; something accepted socially; time tested but perhaps now out of date.

something or someone as old as yourself; Usually refers to yourself in some way. Dreams often include houses which were built about the period of ones birth, and so refer to ones own lifetime and what has become of you. Thus an object the same age as yourself would depict some aspect of your life, depending on the object.

teenager; often points to whatever difficulties you faced, or are facing, in the process of meeting sexual drives, adult relationships, and the need to become an independent and motivated part of society. Thus there may be feelings of uncertainty, shyness, inexperience or idealism suggested in the dream teenager.

very old thing; Either an early part of ones lifetime, such as babyhood, or something that happened in the past and because you have changed so radically, appears to be a very long time ago; or refers to things that influence you which are from a time before your own birth. We are all influenced by the culture we live in for instance, and that is very ancient. But could also be a family trait, or even an influence or vitalising motivation with which one was born, and which appears to have arisen from a

distant past; something that represent wisdom or deep experience. This wisdom is usually not yet defined. It needs to be made conscious by exploring the symbol. This can be revelatory in that we become aware of massive information gathered but never before made conscious.

young adult; Yourself at your physical peak; yourself at that age; that period of your life; the period of worldly opportunity.

If one is a child or youth: most adult figures would suggest either a parent or authority figure; the possibilities of ones own maturity; a role model, or a target for admiration or sexual attraction; perhaps even some form of security in love and being cared for.

If you are already past mid-life: the younger people in your dream in general depict that period of your life and what was learned or experienced at that age. The different age groups also represent the opportunities commonly associated with that age. For instance a sixty year old women who falls in love might say 'I feel like a young girl again.' Or one might say to a young person, 'You've got an old head on your shoulders.' It is in precisely this way that dreams use age to represent feelings and situations.

Example: I dreamt I was on a garden with an old man, a young boy and a young man in his thirties. The plot of land had something of the feeling of an allotment. It was well tended, and I had the sense the young man had been doing most of the work on it. The soil was rich but at the moment dry. A few shoots were just breaking the ground from hundreds of bulbs which had just started shooting.

The old man was kneeling at the edge of one end of the oblong plot of land. He was digging up bulbs one at a time and looking at them, then putting them back in the soil again. As the soil was dry he had to dig the hole a bit bigger to get them back. The bulbs had good roots and the shoots were firm. I was agitated about the old man digging them up though, and felt he should let them be. This seemed to link with my own propensity to dig up seeds when I was younger, to see if they had germinated.

The young boy was simply watching and was quite shadowy. The younger man was getting on with whatever work he was doing. I spoke to him after leaving the old man. Henry G.

Henry, the dreamer is a man in his late fifties. He explored his dream and summarised what he realised as follows:

In connecting with the feelings in the dream the different aged males are all facets of myself. The old man is my own sense of ageing, and the feeling of dryness and being outside of the opportunities that I associate with those younger than myself. My feeling that nothing is growing in my life makes me want to dig under the surface of things to see if there are any new things that might arise. The younger man is the active and creative period of my life during which I did in fact 'sow a lot of seeds' which are now emerging into reality. The boy is my impatience but also the aspect of myself from which new ideas and directions can emerge.

He is that part of me which is still growing, like the bulbs. The garden is my soul/soil. It is all the work I have done to cultivate skills and attributes in myself and create things in the world. What is important is that even though I am in my fifties, these younger parts were skills and attributes I developed in the past and are still active in me today.

Example: Every night for the past six months at least, in my dream there is a baby. I seem to be neglecting the baby, i.e. I tell myself it is time I fed it or changed it etc., but the baby thrives in spite of my neglect. It is never the same baby - it looks different each time - but it seems quite content. Mrs. M. C.

Here the age of the baby reflects the level of feelings the dreamer is dealing with. The keyword is neglect. So Mrs. C. is being reminded by her dreams that she is neglecting either the needs arising from her own childhood emotional dependence or her need for warmth and love as a baby. The imagery of the dream suggest it is warmth and love she is not getting enough of, and most likely she didn't get enough when she was actually a baby. That she is now a adult does not reduce the strength of her unfulfilled needs.

Example: See The first example under nightmare. This is a very clear example of how the young boy in the dream is the dreamers experience and fear at that age.

Example: I am in an unknown old building with unsafe floors. I vaguely feel it belongs to my long dead father. Around me are rats, which have young. I am hysterical because they keep multiplying. People with me, unknown, although my husband is there, I don't seem to care about them. I usually wake shouting because one of the rats touches me. I am not frightened of rats when awake. Dorothy C.

The age of the building suggests there is some connection from a long time ago. The dream goes on to say the connection is with the long dead father. This is unclear because Dorothy has not yet made it conscious what the fear is that arose in herself from her relationship with her father.

Example: See the first example under clothes. The 'old' clothes here possibly refer to Valerie's feelings of ageing and her struggle with how to now present herself as an attractive woman to other people.

Example: From Dream Power by Ann Faraday page 163. I was being presented to a Persian king in the grounds of his palace. As we talked a group of happy, laughing young girls came into the garden, followed by a rather sad looking middle aged woman who I thought must be the King's chief wife. This woman was obviously in charge of the harem and was sad, I felt, because the king no longer wanted her sexually and had relegated her to the role of household organiser. One of the girls came to Sally and said, 'Don't you recognise me? We were together in a previous incarnation'.

Ann Faraday's comments on the dream are that she realised the king represented her husband, and she was the chief wife. This led her to realise that in the early years of their marriage there had been much joy in their sexual relationship. This had faded in the years preceding the dream, and they had grown apart sexually. The middle aged woman therefore represents her own sadness through feeling past her prime and unattractive. Such feelings do not mean she is actually unattractive, only that she feels she is.

See: age and dream; adolescent; baby; boy; girl; daughter and son under family and relationships; old age and dreams; old - ancient - antique. Idioms: Act your age; age of consent; age before beauty; ages since; an age; at an advanced age; at an awkward age; come of age; ripe old age; show ones age; under age.

Useful questions are:

What does the particular age represent to me?

Does this signify particular aspects of the age?

What were the main events or features of my life at that age?

Does this dream highlight special aspects of the thing or person. If so what are they?

Is there a difference between what I think about.



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