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The message from my father, “You are a bright kid,” left open the freedom, creativity, and ener­getic resources of my Child Ego State. The Child is the most “real self” as well as the strong­est part of the personality. It is responsible for feelings, biological needs, motivation, and ex­pressiveness. It is the child at two, and at four and at ten, with all the daring and spontaneity of those early years.Quoted from All My Children by Jacqui Lee Schiff

Unfortunately many of us do not get encouraging words or good information about life from father or mother, instead we get the most terrible put downs, or else wordlessly we are defeated and crushed. Usually links with your own feelings arising from your childhood. The Dream child can also depict feelings regarding your growth or vulnerability, such as dependence, or the emotional links you have with people. What is happening to the child in the dream will give a clue to what sort of feelings. If the dream child is one of your own children look up son or daughter. ; boy; girl; daughter; son

Sometimes a child can represent the marriage – what was created by their marriage. Hitting a child: Sometimes an attempt to repress or control your own urges that you were trained to hold back, or were punished for during your own childhood. See: archetype of the child; hitting.

Children appear in so many roles in dreams, and mostly as already said, point to those facets of oneself that either were hurt in your own childhood, or have not grown beyond that stage. But a child can express playfulness, uninhibited enthusiasm, or feelings of pain or hurt. The lost child might indicate either feelings of responsibility and panic about something vulnerable, or that you need to ask yourself how you have suppressed your own inner child. See: Inner Baby and Childbaby in my dream.

The child in a woman’s dream might also have a connection with the deeply instinctive process of producing, caring for and rearing a child. So it might indicate what is happening within the dreamer in regard to this. The following dream illustrates this as Angie, the dreamer who is 18, struggles with the difference between her inner feelings and the attitudes of those around her. See A Woman’s Creative Power

Example: I dreamt I had a child and had to cancel a test because I had to take care of the baby. I was breast feeding the baby, because it is healthier to breast feed than to give formula from a bottle. The person that I had been seeing wanted to know what I thought I was doing. The question was in an accusatory manner, like I had no business breast feeding my own baby. Then I left the baby with my friends and left. When I came back, they were feeding the baby Tabasco sauce because they ran out of milk. This shocked me because I thought my friends were more responsible than that.

Carrying or looking after child: In a relationship sometimes we come up against the child in our partner. The child manifest in the adult as jealousy, dependence, anger or helplessness if left, unwarranted emotional outbursts, and other behaviour that is natural to young children but difficult in an adult. Sex may also be more of a ‘thumb suck’ if it hasn’t matured beyond the child stage, rather than two people caring and sharing. An example of this is given in the following dream.

Example: I was near a hospital where nurses were trained. A lot of young women were about and I hoped to become friends with at least one. Later I was with one and hoping to become intimate. We then went into a room where a woman was examining a queue of nurses. She asked each one questions as their turn came.

There were a lot of children, mostly girls, who had no parents and were trained for nursing from an early age. One of the girls came to me as I lay in a chair. She wanted a cuddle. I held her for a while. Then a boy came for a cuddle. I said to one of them, perhaps the boy, “There are plenty of mums about (meaning the nurses), but you want a daddy don’t you?” I held him with my strength. One of the children asked me if my nurse friend had got a man yet. I considered for a while, then said no, she hadn’t, as I realised I was not her “man”, only a friend.  Alec.

Alec was a married man with children. His wife had been a nurse. When Alec explored his dream he described what he experienced as follows.

It was clear early on that the nurses represented my wife, but the rest of the dream was still beyond me. But as I imagined myself as the young boy I knew this was me. I didn’t like seeing that part of me. I had kept it covered up with pride over the years, but it was there and I was at first ashamed to see this childlike, dependent, emotionally hurt part of myself. It was because I related to my wife in this dependent, childlike way that the dream showed me holding him. My father had never really been a man for me and the child me was desperately in need of knowing that strength. The boy’s question was a turning point for me. In fact my wife didn’t have a ‘man’ yet because I was still moving toward real manhood. But suddenly I felt what the little girl in the dream meant. I said to my wife, “You’re the little girl in the dream. Do you see? Every time I get back to my warm sexual feelings I’m a little boy again, because I haven’t really grown up sexually yet, and that scares you. Whenever my weak side shows, you feel really threatened so you attack that part of me. It’s because you need a strong daddy, and every time I show my weakness it triggers the little girl in you whose daddy was weak. He never grew up, so you never had a strong man for a father. That’s why you married me. Okay, I am strong enough now to be your strong daddy like I am in the dream.”

There was more to the problem though. Why did my wife’s little girl trigger my withdrawn little boy? I enter into into this. I remembered how, when we had separate beds, I had often wanted to masturbate but had stopped in case my wife heard. I realised how much I wanted to hide my masturbation from her. At the same time I realised how I easily stood before her naked and with an erection, so what was this problem over masturbation? Of course, it was mother again. My mother had given me hell over masturbation as the disapproving mother, and when my wife got into her “downing” role I saw her as the disapproving manhood killing mother again, and was deeply repulsed by her. I am not going to be killed again by/mother/wife, so I will cut off from her and will give my manhood to women who do not kill me.

Child dying or dead: One dreamer said, “I saw him jump off a bridge to his death.” This occurred at a time when her young son was making his first moves toward independence, and it was a difficult thing for the mother to face – the loss of her son. So it can easily be shown as the death of ones child in a dream.

When a mother or sometimes a father sees their child leaving them it is like the death if one part of their life. A parent has been everything for their child for years, has told them what to do or even ordered them, and when a child begins to make its own decisions or leaves home to go to college it is the end of a long period and can be shown as the death or even murder of their child.

Another women describes it differently as follows:

‘I am standing outside a supermarket with heavy bags wearing my Mac, though the sun is warm. My daughter and two friends are playing music and everyone stops to listen. I start to write a song for them, but they pack up and go on a bus whilst I am still writing. I am left alone at the bus stop with my heavy burden of shopping, feeling incredibly unwanted.’ Mrs F

Mrs F was dreaming about her young daughter leaving her, and she has to grieve it, almost like a death.

Example: A male reporter who was interviewing my wife and I about our work ended by asking us about the meaning of a nightmare he experienced the previous night. In it he was walking arm-in-arm with his wife across fields, followed by his four year old son. Looking back he saw his son fall into a small but deep hole. He ran to help, but the child had disappeared under water in the pit, and he was tormented by the decision of whether to jump in himself – he might be killed by the fall. Then his son was out of the hole, his heart faint but still beating.

The man was deeply anxious in case the dream had predicted the death of his child. This may seem ridiculous if one has not had such a dream, but the strength of emotions in nightmares tends to create anxiety in even the most rational minds. The original scene, however, depicts marital togetherness, which led us to tell him the dream was about a recent threat to his marriage rather than his child. Astonished he confirmed his marriage had hit a bad time, and he was fearful of the survival of the relationship. “But” he said, “why did I dream about my son?” The reason is probably because the son represents what has been created by their life together. There may also be the added association of the son being a factor which bonds the marriage, and a threat to the son would mean less mutual bonding.

Useful questions: What is happening to this child in the dream, and what, as an allegory, does that suggest about my relationship with my own inner child? Is this about my relationship, showing how we are triggering each other’s childlike responses? If I imagine myself as the child what do I feel and how do I describe myself. (See Stand in Role under peer dream work for help with this ). See Stand in RoleSecrets of Power Dreaming - Easy Dream Understanding



-Chrissie 2011-06-15 8:07:39

I dreamt that I was looking for a lost child whom I think was my grand daughter and went missing while on holiday.


-Smita 2012-08-01 18:19:19

Is it possible to send you my dream for interpretation?


-Ram 2014-10-15 10:29:16

I am unmarried. In a dream, I am holding a girl baby (who is a daughter of my relative), I am playing with the baby and enjoyed. What it denotes?


-Lana 2014-12-05 12:31:51

In my dream I saw two very small kids, 4 or 5 years old, fighting each other and then one of them started braking everything around him. I think I was that child, but I can’t remember clearly. Thank you!


-Mounika 2015-04-12 4:33:18

I saw 2 children( girls) about 2-3 years with their respective grandmothers. I don’t know them in real but I know them in my dream. I was talking and playing and suggesting something. I also l know their names.
What does this mean?


    -Anna 2015-04-15 17:06:32

    Mounika – I wonder if you met your past – the 2 little girls – and your future – the 2 grandmothers – in this dream.
    The dream is ‘a tentative feeler toward the future’; ‘a dress-rehearsal for life,’ in which the dreamer reveals his hopes, fears, and plans for the future. This can also be seen in any long journal of dreams, but only if the dreamer explores the dreams and reveals the core of what the dream is really about. You can become very aware of your present state of being and your possible future. It is only your possible future predicated from the time of the dream. It appears that what we do today casts shadows that are our future. But because we may change and act differently the shadows of the future may change.
    To understand the relationship between the past, the present – your dream figure – and the future you have to explore it.
    So what do the names of the girls mean to you? What did you suggest? What game did you play? What was your relationship with the grandmothers? What did you feel in the dream?
    Please read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/practical-techniques-for-understanding-your-dreams/
    Anna :-)


-concerned mum 2be 2015-04-24 15:51:15

I currently pregnant Bt the father of my baby is not part of our lives. Bt today I was told he dreamt of a child with dark thick black hair holding onto his leg n would not let go. He could not see a face Bt noticedthe child bald patch through his wavy hair and the child being darker tone to himself Bt we are an interracial couple or were an interracial couple. When I asked older people they seemed to cringe as in a bad omen kinda demonic. Pls help me understand.


-Martha 2015-10-08 13:11:35

My friend dreamed two weeks ago that she came to my house and my adult son who is 21 was there and my daughter. I don’t have a daughter,never had. My friend came to take a shower and there was a dentist chair in the restroom.

She didnt’ say “my daughter ” was a baby, like a child.


-Kanwal 2015-10-21 12:21:42

In my dream I saw four five months old baby and it was my cousin’s baby. Baby was with me and was very happy. When my cousin wants to take the baby, baby said very clearly , he/she (not sure about was it boy or girl) he has a past life relationship with me and is not going anywhere.He was very happy with me. Before this dream I had another dream where I am flying and enjoying a lot. While flying I was standing and felt very light.


-Dana 2015-11-11 0:59:49

Dear Anna/Tony,
Hope you are well. I wonder if you could provide some insights about my dream.
From time to time, I tend to be in another waking world(in my dream) where things are placed a little different from the real world. In this place, I tend to have a little girl who would tag along with me in whatever I do. In that dream it felt like she’s my daughter. I’ve had this dream for a few years and more recently, I dreamt about being in this other waking world again and she seems to have grown up accordingly? It’s almost like I have a daughter in another world. She’s quiet, doesn’t speak much. I feel protective of her and somehow I could feel she’s protective of me too.
In real life, hubby and I have not had any children yet. We would love to have them someday.
Please advise.



-kenny 2015-11-30 6:48:37

I dreamed I saw an abandoned child say 2yrs old about to fall into a pit, I picked him/her up & then found a good person nearby to take care of her. But what’s confusing here is that I kept coming back to check up on the child. Please interpret, thanks.


    -Anna - Tony's Assistant 2015-12-04 10:46:15

    Dear Kenny – Your dream does not contain enough information; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/not-enough-information/
    Also you do not share if the “good person nearby” is a man or a woman whom you know in your waking life and you do not express how you feel in your dream.
    If we take away the images and events occurring in a dream and simply look to see what feelings or emotions are evident, the dream is often more understandable than if we try to interpret the symbols. Feelings in dreams are nearly always undistorted. We therefore do not need to interpret them, simply to recognise them and see if we can recognise where they occur in waking life.
    My somewhat educated guess is that the abandoned child is a symbol for something that you had left behind, had dismissed or forgotten about, perhaps because you did not consider it important, or because you had chosen another “life path.”
    It will serve a purpose to use “Being the abandoned child” and “the pit (fall? Pit of despair?)” to explore these symbols in your dreams; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson
    Why do you perceive it as confusing to keep coming back and check up on the child?
    Anna :-)


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