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Man In Your Dreams

The man you dreamt of last night, more than likely represents the male you have the most important emotional bond with. But it needs to be remembered that a dream portrays each part of us, such as our ambition, as being exterior to us, because a thought or an emotion is something we experience, not something we are. By showing our urges or fears as people or places exterior to us, our dreams are able to portray the strange fact that while, for instance, the love we have for another person is intimately our own, we may find such a feeling difficult to bear, as when one is married and falls in love with someone else. While we dream, the subtleties of such dilemmas are given dramatic form. To observe our dilemma as if we were watching it as a play, has very real advantages. See Characters in Dreams

Dreams are ways in which the feeling urges which unconsciously direct so many of our decisions express themselves, are gratified, or are explored. Therefore the male, who appears almost as frequently in a woman’s dreams as her first love, is the man she is fantasying a romance with. For instance, Christine’s deepest impulse was to be wholly in a relationship with her husband Andrew. Difficulties he experienced in regard to sex frequently led him to withdraw his warmth, leaving Christine uncertain about where their life together was going. While alone visiting her family in Australia, she met David, her own age, an old friend of the family, and separated from his wife. As Christine was depending on friends and relatives instead of hotels, David offered his own place. Christine turned it down, but she dreamt she was secretly meeting David. The meetings were very pleasant, except that Christine constantly had the ‘looking over her shoulder’ feeling.

From the dream Christine realised that she was at least considering the idea of looking for another partner. There was still too much good in her relationship with Andrew, however, for her to sever connections with him and be wholehearted about another man. This is why the meetings in the dream were ‘secret’. In that situation though, there could be no real pleasure for her either with Andrew or another man. The dream was therefore a way in which she experimented with directions, and her reactions to them, in a safe way. It is like being able to do something quite different in life than you are doing, then wake up and find you are safely back with no changes. You are then left with the possibility of changing direction, or maintaining the present one.

I Don’t Wish to See That!

Sometimes dreams about the man in your life may be attempting to express something you are trying not to see. Sarah repeatedly dreamt that her boy friend, Ron, had died, and she was attending his funeral. The dreams disturbed her and she wondered if they might be a prediction. Then she met another man whom she liked, and realised she had been trying to get away from Ron for ages, but didn’t know how to do it. In fact many women have dreams or fantasies about their partner dying, sometimes out of worry, but frequently because it offers an easy way out of feeling trapped. In this way they are secretly hoping that no effort of will and confrontation will be demanded of them.

Of course an older woman dreaming her man is dead or dying will probably have a very different underlying cause for the dream. This may straightforwardly be an anxiety dream about their man dying men die before women on average. The dream may be a way of looking at this and exploring or dealing with feelings in connection with the possibility that you partner’s life will end before yours.

Ninety nine percent of the time, dreams are not prophesying what is going to happen to the man in your life. What they do pictorialise or dramatize is what you are feeling or fearing about him. A number of women have told me they frequently dream their man leaves them for another woman. I haven’t observed those particular men leaving yet, or even being unfaithful. What is obvious though is that the women who have these dreams experience a lot of unnecessary anxiety about being left. Therefore they dream about it, partly because that is what they are feeling, and partly as a safety valve for unexpressed emotions.

The Big One

Many dreams of the man we struggle with or dream of love with, are actually either a way we release the tension of our enormous desire for love – or are actually developing a relationship with the most important man in our life – our real soul mate. I am talking about your real other half, the man you are, under the influence of having a female body. Please see Archetype of the Animus.

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Comments

-jasmine 2013-09-07 21:07:24

The nightmare man.

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-ladyglaiza 2013-11-23 17:07:30

Hi, so thankful that i came across with this site. I just need an answer and clarification with my dreams in the fast few days. I been dreaming this man, who has been my classmate since elementary up to high school, only after our graduation in high school that i realized that i had a crush on him, i like him a lot. We’re not friends nor acquaintance in any sort, hes a bully to me, he always teases me, there is a time that i dream of him and me talking and smiling which in fact we don’t do that in reality, there’s one time as well that i dream of him in our classroom, smiling to me again, then he disappear, in my dream i rode a boat, the whole trip was scary, it seems so real, after that, we were in the port already, along with my other classmates back in high school, he was there also, smiling again. and then disappear again. the feeling seems so real, that it seems like he likes me also or what? what is the meaning of this?

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-Serena 2013-12-10 8:10:51

hi i have a dream i was in this new place with new family i was young teenager and i met this gy and he showed up at my house later on my parents were gone w went shoppping and free food. then the guy was gone

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    -Tony Crisp 2013-12-16 10:57:07

    Serena – There are three major themes you may notice in your dreams. One of the most important is the emergence of your sexual abilities as a woman. In all warm blooded animals sex is not just the urge to join two bodies genitally. It also involves desires to attract and bond to a mate; the urge to have a child, and the strength to care for and protect your children. Your dreams are a safe place where you practice or unfold these emerging facets of yourself. Dreams allow you to work out any difficulties in letting these qualities flower. It is quite normal to worry that you may not be attractive enough to attract a partner, or that if you do you may not know what to do. So you will probably dream of a boy you find attractive, and enjoy the pleasure of touching and loving. You will also encounter the fears or pains standing in the way of such a meeting.
    Your dream suggest you are practising looking for and keeping a mate.

    Tony

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