Leave a Comment

Man In Your Dreams

The man you dreamt of last night, more than likely represents the male you have the most important emotional bond with, or a male you either associates with love or else a man you would like to be a partner.

I Don’t Wish to See That!

Sometimes dreams about the man in your life may be attempting to express something you are trying not to see. Sarah repeatedly dreamt that her boy friend, Ron, had died, and she was attending his funeral. The dreams disturbed her and she wondered if they might be a prediction. Then she met another man whom she liked, and realised she had been trying to get away from Ron for ages, but didn’t know how to do it.

In fact many women have dreams or fantasies about their partner dying, sometimes out of worry, but frequently because it offers an easy way out of feeling trapped. In this way they are secretly hoping that no effort of will and confrontation will be demanded of them.

Of course an older woman dreaming her man is dead or dying will probably have a very different underlying cause for the dream. This may straightforwardly be an anxiety dream about their man dying – men die before women on average. The dream may be a way of looking at this and exploring or dealing with feelings in connection with the possibility that your partner’s life will end before yours.

Wider View

Ninety nine percent of the time, dreams are not prophesying what is going to happen to the man in your life. What they do pictorialise or dramatize is what you are feeling or fearing about him. A number of women have told me they frequently dream their man leaves them for another woman. I haven’t observed those particular men leaving yet, or even being unfaithful. What is obvious though is that the women who have these dreams experience a lot of unnecessary anxiety about being left. Therefore they dream about it, partly because that is what they are feeling, and partly as a safety valve for unexpressed emotions.

The Big One  

Many dreams of the man we struggle with or dream of love with, are actually either a way we release the tension of our enormous desire for love – or are actually developing a relationship with the most important man in our life – our real soul mate. I am talking about your real other half, the man you are, under the influence of having a female body. See Womens creative power

But I suppose one of the most striking things I experienced in recent years is that a dream image is just a ‘front’ for massive data banks of experience and information. For instance, supposing we liken your memory to a huge filing system – rooms of it. Within those rooms there is a whole section marked ‘MAN’. Within that section of ‘MAN’ are countless folders with experience and information in about particular men in your life what you have learn or experienced – from father onwards.

Apart from that there is a big file or system of files dealing with what you inherited culturally about MAN, and also what you have absorbed from mother and other women. Then there is the media and books. There is so much. What particular aspect of all this a dream is expressing depends on how the dream presents, clothes, acts, speaks and relates as the man. So the dream image is a communication between your waking awareness and those massive files of information, and dealing with a particular aspect of your life and development. There is a whole book here somewhere. As for the female male, and the male female, this is one of those lifetime areas of growth we each face and achieve in lesser or greater degrees. Fundamentally we are without a particular gender, but in connection with our body we often have very marked female or male characteristics and responses to life. However, as we move through the major problems we are wrestling with we start meeting our other half and finding symbols of blending. Eventually the male and female are one in us, though we can easily continue to live as a male or female. A way of cutting through to direct understanding is to use Being the Person or Thing

If it is a man’s dream it is an aspect of your own personality expressing in your dreams. See Characters and People in Dreams

Dreams are ways in which the feeling urges which unconsciously direct so many of our decisions express themselves, are gratified, or are explored. Therefore the male, who appears almost as frequently in a woman’s dreams as her first love, is the man she is fantasying a romance with. For instance, Christine’s deepest impulse was to be wholly in a relationship with her husband Andrew. Difficulties he experienced in regard to sex frequently led him to withdraw his warmth, leaving Christine uncertain about where their life together was going. While alone visiting her family abroad, she met David, her own age, an old friend of the family, and separated from his wife. As Christine was depending on friends and relatives instead of hotels, David offered his own place.

Christine turned it down, but she dreamt she was secretly meeting David. The meetings were very pleasant, except that Christine constantly had the ‘looking over her shoulder’ feeling.

From the dream Christine realised that she was at least considering the idea of looking for another partner. There was still too much good in her relationship with Andrew, however, for her to sever connections with him and be wholehearted about another man. This is why the meetings in the dream were ‘secret’. In that situation though, there could be no real pleasure for her either with Andrew or another man. The dream was therefore a way in which she experimented with directions, and her reactions to them, in a safe way. It is like being able to do something quite different in life than you are doing, then wake up and find you are safely back with no changes. You are then left with the possibility of changing direction, or maintaining the present one.

A Dreamer’s Comment

As a 50-yr-old woman dreamer, I want to add that these men of ours may be more numerous and more varied in person than, perhaps, the men in a man’s dream. Yes, over time, one of the men might dominate, but I don’t believe he is necessarily the most important. The stranger may be absolutely as vital to our female Life as the “husband.”

See Archetype of the AnimusSurviving Love and RelationshipsLearning to LoveLoveTeenage Girl’s Love DreamsArchetype of the Lover




-angel seo 2015-01-02 9:00:00

Hello. Thanks I found this site. I have a guy friend, were not that close but I used to talk to him often. This is my second time dreaming of him. The first obe is “I dream of him going in our house, I was surprised because i thought he was looking for me but, he was looking for my friend and they were trying to fix their relationship”. The next dream is “he were again in our house with my other friends but he was with his girlfriend” . I dont know what that means. Please interpret this for me. Very curious. He’s just a friend. Nothing more.


-MS 2015-01-06 13:46:34

I keep dreaming about a mutual friend of mine and my husbands. Last year we started to hang out when my husband and I were having problems. We talked about my relationship my husband and how him and I had feelings for one another and he thought we had chemistry and how he thought I was this great woman and he wished he had met me before my husband. Long story short, he ended up kissing me and my husband found out and they had a falling out. I keep dreaming about him even when I dont want to and in my dreams he is either doing something sweet for me, holding me or im holding him, touching my face and hair or talking to me and smiling. I always see his face so I know its him. I feel really bad when I wake up. What can it be?


-cait 2015-01-16 20:47:13

Hi I have been having this dream about a boy in my class and I have been dreaming about him for three days straight and in the first dream we were walking around my house and then we ended up in school then we went to class and he was sitting next to me the second dream I was in class and I had a price of paper that said meet me outside and so I went out and he was waiting form me against the lockers and we kissed the third dream he asked me out and we went on a date so what does it mean.


-rain 2015-03-15 18:59:36

i had this dream were i was in an apartment with like 15 more ppl and i dont rlly wanna go in details cause the dream gets pretty weird but we were doing some type of drug then we got caught by some old ppl and someone hust went like jump off the window and thought they were crazy cause we were at like the 11th floor but they all just started jumping one by one then i was like ok let me change my shoes then i couldnt find ghe other pair so i just said fuck it then jumped while jumping this guy took me with him and it was so weird cause we jumped so peacefully almost flying then when we landed it was soft then in a second i felt the pang. we ran away and ran to a library then hid at the back buf we got caught so i ran to this room with instruments and it was rlly narrow then like 2 meteres after it was rlly big and wide it was so fancy too it was red carpet and there was chandeliers everywhere i was with a guy that was rlly weird cause he kept acting like he didnt like me then when we got caught he took me with him and ran with me i slipped and he carried me which was weird but i was with him and this guy i know lets call n then after that we ran to a random car and i slept in the back of the car with n the car was 5 seaters but not a small one after that we went and met up with everyone we found that only like 3 of us got caught then after we were in the motel and everything was blurry after that but i had more dreams that i dont remember and it was with the same 3 guys


-Judee 2017-03-30 8:28:43

I dreamed of my co worker who happend close to me.. I dream of him 2 times the first one was he was looking at me smiling and he holds my hand.. The second one is we are lying down and he hold again my hands.. We are both married.


    -Tony Crisp 2017-03-30 9:50:35

    Hi – I am stopping from answering your posts fully – but will try to give hints; sometimes long ones because I quote from masses I have already put online. Also, I need to take time to update the site – dreamhawk.

    It would help you to understand your dreams, if you would read – and also which has so much information in.

    Nothing can replace your own ability to understand your dream. With a little effort you can do this by practising what is described in – or


    Although you probably felt you were dreaming of your co-worker, it is more likely that when you think about a friend or a person you meet, you are only taking in your thoughts, impressions and feelings about them. So many people do not realise that they have an inner person equally as powerful as the external person you know. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by meeting or living with them, and they are what makes you the person you are. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner person can appear in dreams because you still carry the memories or impressions of them, and so they influenced what you hold within you.

    Our dreams show us loving many people, for love knows no boundaries and reaches out to many. I believe if you are a keen observer you will have seen that love is everywhere and is an aspect of life, for we love in many different ways. We even get a lot of sexual urges mixed up with love.

    Obviously your ‘love’ wishes to include another and there is no problem with that as long as you recognise the social rules and giving social offence. By trying to claim love, the saying I love you, seemed ridiculous and limiting. The love belongs to life, it is not ours personally. Because we don’t own it, there is no need to be possessive. All we need do is to allow it to flow through us. Blocking it creates pain and sickness. And for goodness sake do not put a price on it. Do not sell it! It isn’t yours. If you sell it you will need to repay the source. Love and sex are instinctive drives and we do not create them or own them. See


Copyright © 1999-2010 Tony Crisp | All rights reserved